10 Truths About Motherhood

Author: Shannon Miller Lifestyle

Becoming a mother is an amazing job to have!

Whether you are a first time mom, have older children, have one child, or have ten. These ten truths of motherhood will most likely speak to you! Be sure to leave us some of your favorites in a comment below!

1. Everyone is the best mother until they actually become a mother.

We all go into motherhood with grand ideas and intentions.  Most of those ideas and intentions go out the window within the first year of actual motherhood. Every mother does what is best for her own child and children’s personalities can vary drastically. If the statement “I would never let my child do THAT” has ever come out of your mouth, you will most likely have a child who will do exactly THAT when you least expect it. Meltdowns at the grocery store or in a restaurant are things you can’t avoid sometimes. Letting your child eat unhealthy processed foods from time to time when you haven’t slept in a week is bound to happen as well. When you become a mother, it is difficult when you think that everyone around you is judging you, but most of the time, those people don’t care, or they’ve been there and completely understand. Ultimately, know that you cannot always control everything your children do and no one is a more harsh critic of your mothering than you are.

2.You will do things as a mother that you swore you would never, ever do as a mother.

Breastfeeding vs. Formula Feeding,  Crib-sleeping vs. Bed-sharing, Cloth Diapers vs. Disposable Diapers, Jarred Baby Food vs. Baby Led Weaning, Cry-It-Out vs. Attachment Parenting, Stay-At-Home Moms vs. Working Moms, Public School vs. Private School, Sports or Music Lessons, and the list could go on forever!

What were the things you said you would choose pre-baby? Did any of those choices change after you had your first baby? There are so many choices as a mother and there are things that will work for you that other mothers had a hard time with and vice versa. Your situation will likely vary in many ways from other mothers you know, even the most like minded ones. Motherhood is not cut and dry. It requires constant adaptation and knowledge of when to change things when they are not working for you.

3. You will sound like your mother at some point.

As a parent, your intentions to do things differently or similarly from how your parents did them is your prerogative. Behavior is often learned by watching what others do. The way your mother said something or did something when you were a child is bound to come out at some point. It will most likely mess with your head as well.

4. Having a child will change your body.

Some moms are able to lose all the baby weight and more and others will struggle to lose those last few pounds for years. Part of the way your body looks after having a baby is genetic and part of it is making smart choices when it comes to the foods you eat and the exercise you do. Your body after baby is beautiful. It shows the hard work your body did of making a new person! Don’t let others make you feel any less beautiful because you had a child. If you want some extra help toning up after baby, check out our Body After Baby DVD.

5. Kids are brutally honest BUT they are also extremely accepting.

Has your four-year-old ever told you your butt looks big? Don’t take it personally, they aren’t at the stage of cognitive development yet where they understand that this is mean, they are just telling you what they feel to be true(and to be honest, your behind is bigger than theirs, so its all just relative).

This is just the way they are wired. Developmental psychologists, like Piaget, Kohlberg, Erikson and others, have studied for years the “hard-wiring” of children: how they think, how they reason, their moral compass, and more. Children do not fully comprehend lying or things like social norms, race, or religion. Children do not judge others like adults do. Children are much more likely to be blunt and speak without a filter. They also will love you unconditionally and not care about what you think are your “problem areas” like stretch marks, wrinkles, or a little extra around the middle.

6. You have very little to do with the personality of your child. And each subsequent child is going to be very different from the one before.

Many aspects of your child’s personality are traits they are born with. If you have a strong-willed child that is not something you did and that is not something you can change about your child. If you have an “easy” child, they may make up for it in their teen years and if you have a rather difficult child you may get an easier teen years.

7. Your relationship with your spouse will change.

Relationships change when a new person is brought into that situation and having a child is no different. Your relationship with your spouse is the most intimate relationship you have and having a child can put strain on that  relationship. Set up a baby sitter and have regular date nights. Just because you are married does not mean you should ever stop “dating” your spouse.

8. Guilt is going to happen, don’t let it consume you.

Guilt is a tough accompaniment to motherhood. We all face it. No matter your situation with your child, you should never feel guilty about choices you have made surrounding the well-being of your child. The working mom loves her child as much as the stay at home mom. The formula feeding mother loves her child as much as the breastfeeding one does. The choices you make to give your child the best life possible are nothing you should ever feel guilt or shame for. You, as a mother, are your own toughest critic. If you are constantly feeling guilty and anxious, you will not fully enjoy being a mother.

9. Competitive mothering is a waste of time.

As if the guilt wasn’t bad enough, constantly feeling like you are in a competition with other moms will not do you any good either. Moms can be mean and so judgmental of other mothers when we should be supportive and empathetic to what each other is going through. In the grand scheme of things its not a big deal if your child is better than mine at activity X because my child is most likely better at activity Y than your child is. Mothers need to embrace that each child has his or hers own strengths and weaknesses. Instead of putting each other and each other’s children down, we should praise them for their strengths and appreciate the unique qualities that each child has, regardless of how well you know the child.

10.“Making the decision to have a child- it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” –Elizabeth Stone

Whether you planned on having children or it “just happened” it goes without saying that it truly is like having your heart go walking around outside of your body. Your life changes drastically when you have a child. The love you experience is like no other love. The most mundane choices you make on a daily basis now affect another human being.

What other truths have you experienced as a mother?

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